This post was originally written last September 2013 from my previous blog at Tumblr. I will be writing a its part two on the next days. 🙂
Dancing has been a big part of my life, as far as I can remember I’ve always been a dancer. Since then I’ve always been part of our school’s dance troupe and my identity would be “the dancer”. I want to go to New York to study dance, in a studio filled with mirrors and bars.I’ve always dreamed of being a dance teacher and eventually have my own arts school.
I never had formal training aside from what I got from school, I ventured through cheerleading and jazz throughout High School. Being petite, I’ve always been a flyer.
Practicing our tosses. (I even had braces circa 2007
After sometime I entered the world of streetdance,through our church’s dance ministry then-called WD4J or we Dance For Jesus there starting out is very hard coz I can’t find my groove being a so linear. I feel ugly, and the perfect word is AWKWARD.
At that point, I hated my so-called “background” why I have to be so linear and I find it hard to be “maangas” the cheerleader in me keeps coming out. I would really try to do my best every training to be a better or at least not look awkward and start feeling comfortable with my body. There are times that I would really get discouraged and wanted to stop dancing because people would say that I look awkward or I simply don’t make the cut. But thanks God! Being in the dance ministry is a different story, I was reminded with why I dance at the first place and who I dance for.
To start of my series on Love, let me take you to the Bible’s book of love. The Song of Songs written by Solomon.
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:Do not arouse or awaken loveuntil it so desires.”
Song of Songs 2:7
The book of Song of songs is a poetic book that is written in theatrical form it may come up with many interpretations but for me the best picture is that the poem commends the shepherd and the maiden for their devoted love to one another, the maiden is praised for guarding her virtue and her virginity against all the advances of Solomon,because she is saving herself for the one she loves and wants to marry. Yet sexual love is also commended and celebrated in the poem as a gift from God to be celebrated and to praise Him for in the context of marriage.
That more than the love of a man betrothed to me, the gift of love that God gives is a one-to-one love that leaves room for no substitutes; just as the maiden and the shepherd’s love for one another was so strong, that there was no room for her or him to even consider another. The love of my shepherd is more than enough for me.
I often hear single women asking themselves or others why they are still single. Some of which even ask themselves aren’t I pretty enough? Or intelligent? Or Godly? My answer to them – it’s not yet God’s time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been through that “struggle” stage in my life especially going through high school and college where most of my friend will have a partner and I don’t. I asked myself those questions but by the grace of God each time I ask Him, He assures me that I am loved and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139).
Those years that I asked myself that question I thank God that I am gifted with people whom I can be accountable with and they helped me channel my energy to the more important things during that season in my life. I exceled in my studies, served in the ministry and even get leadership roles in the dance company that I am in. It is His love that sustained me. But the struggle doesn’t end there. Being someone who was never “officially” courted and a certified single since birth I have to be honest that even though I am walking with the Lord. I also have my nemesis and that is my heart. I came to a point where I almost gave my heart to a man even though it is not really God’s plan for me at that point of my life. To tell you ladies, purity is not only about physical intimacy there is such thing as emotional purity where most women fail to guard. At a certain point in my life I got emotionally attached to that person but God and His sovereignty reminded me that He is my first love and even though it was hard I surrendered my Isaac to Him. It wasn’t easy and with that act of surrender to God. He revealed my heart and the many things that God still need to fix in my life. In short, I wasn’t God’s Best yet.
#WalangForever we hear it almost everyday and it has been a trending expression due to the number of teleseryes most especially Forevermore and even the recent news ofParis love locks being taken down. Does happily every after or forever non-existent especially in this day and age? Are we really living in the age where people no longer believe in the power of everlasting love? My say...#MayForever with the right person and the right time.
Two years ago I wrote a post entitled confessions of a no boyfriend since birth and yes after two years this lady is still a no boyfriend since birth well those two years have changed this lady and from getting debut invites now I have more wedding invitations to attend. I’ve grown older and yes finally I only have a term left before graduation yay! I will be a hypocrite to say that getting into a romantic relationship never crossed my mind because it does its normal but something that I thank God for is that the same mindset two years back has never changed and in those two years God has allowed me to grow in His love and be more like Him. And I want to share those things especially to the young single women like me.
Love may be one of the overused word today. Movies, songs, TV series, books whatever you may think of they all have a touch or theme about love. This word may only comprise of four letters but it is very powerful it compels. It can make or break a person.
I don’t know but for me love has its cost, it doesn’t come cheap as the world depicts it. This doesn’t come with flowers, chocolates or even teddy bears. Love, or rather true love hast its cost, it requires sacrifice. One can never truly say that you have loved if you are not willing to sacrifice for that person. Love is something that should make a person, build not destruct and love even means letting go.
Loving means putting that person above your own comfort and even your own happiness. Yes, it may sound harsh but that’s what true love means. An if you hold on too tightly to that person, you may just end up hurting that person and even yourself. You’ll never know, that person may just come back in God’s perfect timing.
Love in this world is so complicated but there is someone who showed us true love even before we are born. Jesus, chose you die for you and give you a free gift of eternal life.
We live in a generation where everything is just a push of a button, internet on our fingertips, instant noodles and fast lanes. In this fast paced world, most of us don’t appreciate the idea of waiting; often times we get irritated when we wait in line or in train station. Humanly speaking, who wants to wait if we can get things done in a snap? As I came across this particular Thai movie, named crazy little thing called love it amazes me how it captured the idea of waiting and true love, unlike most movies nowadays where characters become impulsive and rush into love…ending in heartbreak. As I went on to reflect in this movie I can connect it with the love of God for us.