His Sovereignty Over Our Tragedy

 

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10

When we think of the word joy, what comes into mind?

Maybe presents, having the time of your life or getting your hearts desires. But for me, my mindset of what joy truly means was challenged more than a month ago. Though my family has gone through trials years back such as bankruptcy, separation of my parents etc. this one was really different because what is on the line is life.

Let me share about my mom, I fondly call her “momster” because she is a juxtaposition of a monster (as in a big, hairy, amazingly ferocious human being) and a caring & loving mom. She is one of the strongest human being I know. She an inspiration to me when it comes to perseverance, forbearance, and loving unconditionally. She stood the testings in our family, she conquered being suicidal to a woman completely dependent on the Lord.

She is a business development and marketing manager by profession but took a hiatus from her longtime corporate career when she was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy and Hypertension last March. She loves conquering mountains and going on adventure trips that is why her recent trip is no surprise for me and my dad which mom loves doing.

It was June 9,  a rainy Saturday morning when my dad barged into my room telling me to pray for my mom because she met an accident. The night before she left for a trip to Ilocos Norte with some of her client’s employees then it was in the morning when they met that fateful accident. At first, I was still trying to keep my cool knowing my mom is a strong fellow and have to calm my dad down since he needed to leave Manila and be with my mom in the north.

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How my mom looks like fresh from the accident.

Alone here in Manila, I am kind of feeling under the weather so I decided to get some nap since I have a bridal shower to go to that afternoon. Hours have passed by, and I woke up feeling feverish with no one to my avail I called up some friends or whom I fondly call as my spiritual family until I am already at the state where I passed out and my cluster mates from church would have to get me from our condo and bring me to the hospital. As soon as I arrived in the hospital, the nurses got my vital signs my temperature at 39 degrees Celsius and my white blood cells count rising. Quickly, I was given IV meds and set for a CT scan for my abdomen where the pain is arising.

 

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My spiritual family! Yup, the medical staff kinda felt weirded out with the term but we clarified that we are churchmates.

While I was experiencing pain and chills, these people prayed, comforted and even entertained me. I tell you we are the “happiest” people in the ER. I was scared when I got transferred to urgent ER and the resident surgeon started talking to me. I was praying to God for help, it feels crazy I was lying in the Emergency Room while my dad is in the middle of a stormy Saturday night and my mom lying in the hospital miles away. As we pray, His comfort and peace came about and by God’s grace, I was discharged with a diagnosis of Diverticulitis. My friend brought me home and took care of me.

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According to Doc Aya, visitors need to be regulated since it is limited. Thank you again to everyone who showed concern. I really appreciate each of you.
These sisters who took care of me.

The next days were mind-boggling, being an only child would mean dealing with all these alone each day would mean changes and not all change are easy to bear.

I just thank the Lord for being constant and for sending me brothers and sisters in Christ who became my family. Having this accident also means taking toil to our family finances on the same week our contract in our condo in Ortigas has ended and we have to make a decision to give it up and look for a cheaper alternative. Together with the ladies I am discipling and other sisters we fixed the moving out and was able to vacate our condo indeed what an adjustment.

Continue reading “His Sovereignty Over Our Tragedy”

Resting on God and My fear of Snakes

Do not fear for I am with you
Photo Credit: http://oneloveonedesire.tumblr.com/post/126795905011/so-do-not-fear-for-i-am-with-you-do-not-be

What are your fears?

I am extremely afraid of snakes. Even just the thought of them.

Raise your hand if you have the fear of the unknown? I do. Especially for us women we have the tendency to overthink our minds sometimes (if not most of the time) races like the speed of light. Though fear can also be a good thing because its a stimuli to protect us from harm. It can also paralyze and make us anxious which is not a good thing.

What should we do from our fears? Should be simply run away from it?

Continue reading “Resting on God and My fear of Snakes”

Running the Race with Perseverance

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Photo Credit: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com

I am not a fan of jogging, its actually my nemesis. Last Saturday, I was challenged because our agenda is to do conditioning the whole training time and the first one on the list is my dreaded exercise jogging. So we started jogging around Frontera Verde area at first I was okay trying to keep up with the pace but as I continue on I feel tired and gasping for breath. So I told my buddy can we slow down a bit we started to walk briskly but we’ve never stopped as soon as we are both okay we picked up our pace again then as we reach the last round we had our last sprint and finished the workout.

It dawned on me that as we go through life, there will be moments also that we wanted to give up. This happens especially when you don’t feel appreciated or when we are not the one who is in control and no matter how hard you try it seems like your best will never be enough, feels like a complete waste of time, effort and emotions. 

This feeling of mine is the same as the character of Harold Abrahams, a British Sprinter who is obsessed with winning in the film Chariots of Fire. Little did he know that he will be soundly beaten by his rival Eric Liddell in a 100-meter dash leading up to the 1924 Olympics. Abrahams’ response is in deep despair. When Sybil, his girlfriend tried to encourage Him but he responded with anger saying, “I run to win. If I can’t win. I won’t run!”. On the other hand Sybil responded wisely, “If you don’t run, you can’t win.”

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Love Series: Awaken Love in His Time

Love Series: Awaken Love in His Time

To start of my series on Love, let me take you to the Bible’s book of love. The Song of Songs written by Solomon.

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Enter a caption Photo from: @sheenalovesunsets

 

 

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you

    by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

Song of Songs 2:7

The book of Song of songs is a poetic book that is written in theatrical form it may come up with many interpretations but for me the best picture is that the poem commends the shepherd and the maiden for their devoted love to one another, the maiden is praised for guarding her virtue and her virginity against all the advances of Solomon, because she is saving herself for the one she loves and wants to marry. Yet sexual love is also commended and celebrated in the poem as a gift from God to be celebrated and to praise Him for in the context of marriage.

 That more than the love of a man betrothed to me, the gift of love that God gives is a one-to-one love that leaves room for no substitutes; just as the maiden and the shepherd’s love for one another was so strong, that there was no room for her or him to even consider another. The love of my shepherd is more than enough for me.

Continue reading “Love Series: Awaken Love in His Time”

The Gift and Joy of Singleness

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I often hear single women asking themselves or others why they are still single. Some of which even ask themselves aren’t I pretty enough? Or intelligent? Or Godly? My answer to them – it’s not yet God’s time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been through that “struggle” stage in my life especially going through high school and college where most of my friend will have a partner and I don’t. I asked myself those questions but by the grace of God each time I ask Him, He assures me that I am loved and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139).

Those years that I asked myself that question I thank God that I am gifted with people whom I can be accountable with and they helped me channel my energy to the more important things during that season in my life. I exceled in my studies, served in the ministry and even get leadership roles in the dance company that I am in. It is His love that sustained me. But the struggle doesn’t end there. Being someone who was never “officially” courted and a certified single since birth I have to be honest that even though I am walking with the Lord. I also have my nemesis and that is my heart. I came to a point where I almost gave my heart to a man even though it is not really God’s plan for me at that point of my life. To tell you ladies, purity is not only about physical intimacy there is such thing as emotional purity where most women fail to guard. At a certain point in my life I got emotionally attached to that person but God and His sovereignty reminded me that He is my first love and even though it was hard I surrendered my Isaac to Him. It wasn’t easy and with that act of surrender to God. He revealed my heart and the many things that God still need to fix in my life. In short, I wasn’t God’s Best yet.

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Kalma beh! God works in our day off.

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Image taken from the internet

These past few weeks I have been VERY busy, yes emphasize on that word VERY. Since I started working as a fitness trainer, a dance teacher and serve in the dance ministry my daily grind has been all physical. On a regular basis, I teach around 5-10 classes, take around 4 classes and dance every evening in a week. Not to mention the administrative and creative work that I need to do as one of the ministry coordinators of the dance ministry, a single’s retreat coming up and the project head of our upcoming dance concert.  I love what I do but to be honest I get tired too and one of the big thing that I lack is enough rest and sleep. I even came to a point in the midst of working that I would breakdown and cry to my trusted friends and to God just to say that I am really tired. But despite of being tired, I still pushed myself to work, work and work.

Continue reading “Kalma beh! God works in our day off.”

Still Confessing as a Single Since Birth.

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Two years ago I wrote a post entitled confessions of a no boyfriend since birth and yes after two years this lady is still a no boyfriend since birth well those two years have changed this lady and from getting debut invites now I have more wedding invitations to attend. I’ve grown older and yes finally I only have a term left before graduation yay! I will be a hypocrite to say that getting into a romantic relationship never crossed my mind because it does its normal but something that I thank God for is that the same mindset two years back has never changed and in those two years God has allowed me to grow in His love and be more like Him. And I want to share those things especially to the young single women like me.

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Continue reading “Still Confessing as a Single Since Birth.”

On oxygen and uncertainties

“I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future.”

― Tim Tebow

Kinda felt like Anna while lying down in the clinic with oxygen tank.
Kinda felt like Anna while lying down in the clinic with oxygen tank.

So, today I just experience one of the shock of my life. While eating lunch, I experienced an intense chest pain that radiates up till my left arm and suddenly I had difficulty breathing. I went to our school clinic and the doctor advised me to have oxygen since I really can’t breath properly. The doctor, calmly told me that I need to be fetched my my parents and undergo ECG to make sure that it is not a cardiac related problem and I have to stop doing physical activities for sometime. As soon as I heard those words, I cried…I know that if I will have a disease related to the heart I would have to let go of dancing which is my passion. As I was waiting in the room, I saw the cross and I prayed and asked God, ” Lord, why are you allowing this to happen in my life? I am very active, I don’t easily get tired during trainings and I eat healthy food.” As I reflect, it made me realize that this life that I have is not my own and if God has to take this away or would allow me to experience hardships so be it. I honestly, felt so afraid at first but as I finished praying God gave me extraordinary peace. This may sound weird, but if God would take me home I wouldn’t have any hesitations for I know I already fulfilled His purpose and if God will allow me to get sick so be it, if in that way His will mostly be magnified. Tomorrow, I am set to undergo ECG and maybe 2D echo, this way I’ll know what my condition really is but whatever it may be I already have peace and this only strengthen my faith in God.il_fullxfull.279878624

Our heart is very important, a person can be brain-dead but can still live but if your heart stopped beating, you’ll lose your life. We must always guard our hearts for it is where life flows. How bout you, how’s your heart right now? Has it stopped loving others because you just get so tired and sick of their ungratefulness? Don’t be! Remember 2000 years ago someone died and redeemed you even before you came and that is Jesus. He died, suffered and rose again because He loves you and you are important to Him. Love as if its your last breath, as for me I am no longer afraid of what my future holds because I know that Jesus is the one who holds it.

Much Love,

My Signature

The cost of love

Love may be one of the overused word today. Movies, songs, TV series, books whatever you may think of they all have a touch or theme about love. This word may only comprise of four letters but it is very powerful it compels. It can make or break a person.

I don’t know but for me love has its cost, it doesn’t come cheap as the world depicts it. This doesn’t come with flowers, chocolates or even teddy bears. Love, or rather true love hast its cost, it requires sacrifice. One can never truly say that you have loved if you are not willing to sacrifice for that person. Love is something that should make a person, build not destruct and love even means letting go.

Loving means putting that person above your own comfort and even your own happiness. Yes, it may sound harsh but that’s what true love means. An if you hold on too tightly to that person, you may just end up hurting that person and even yourself. You’ll never know, that person may just come back in God’s perfect timing.

Love in this world is so complicated but there is someone who showed us true love even before we are born. Jesus, chose you die for you and give you a free gift of eternal life. 

Choose Jesus!Where perfect love can be found. 

Much Love,

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