I often hear single women asking themselves or others why they are still single. Some of which even ask themselves aren’t I pretty enough? Or intelligent? Or Godly? My answer to them – it’s not yet God’s time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been through that “struggle” stage in my life especially going through high school and college where most of my friend will have a partner and I don’t. I asked myself those questions but by the grace of God each time I ask Him, He assures me that I am loved and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139).
Those years that I asked myself that question I thank God that I am gifted with people whom I can be accountable with and they helped me channel my energy to the more important things during that season in my life. I exceled in my studies, served in the ministry and even get leadership roles in the dance company that I am in. It is His love that sustained me. But the struggle doesn’t end there. Being someone who was never “officially” courted and a certified single since birth I have to be honest that even though I am walking with the Lord. I also have my nemesis and that is my heart. I came to a point where I almost gave my heart to a man even though it is not really God’s plan for me at that point of my life. To tell you ladies, purity is not only about physical intimacy there is such thing as emotional purity where most women fail to guard. At a certain point in my life I got emotionally attached to that person but God and His sovereignty reminded me that He is my first love and even though it was hard I surrendered my Isaac to Him. It wasn’t easy and with that act of surrender to God. He revealed my heart and the many things that God still need to fix in my life. In short, I wasn’t God’s Best yet.
And as it is written in His word, there is truly blessing in obedience. That moment I surrendered, I had got a better job and it also built my relationship with my parents. It also brought closure to my long confused emotions, I know it may seem weird but with most ladies (as we’ve seen in movies) getting rejected will lead them to depression or even suicide (we’ll that’s extreme) but you get me it will stir up negative emotions. But for me, I was so joyful after that person actually told me that he doesn’t like me. It felt like it is necessary for me to hear those words so I would grow and so that I will be able to completely obey what God wants me to do. As I laid down this area of my life, I was led to Jeremiah 29 the chapter where we always get our eyes focused on verse 11 but this verse is more than just that. Israel being in exile longs to go back to Jerusalem yes God wills for them to come back to Jerusalem but not yet. What God wants is for them to bless Babylon where they are. And the same thing applies for me, God wants me to focus on what I have in my hands right now my job, my family and ministry. That deep longing in my heart to have my own family it will come in his time.
And I also praise God for that person because he also helped me guard my heart and kept me pure. It is just so easy for the enemy to have a foothold on both of us but because we both wanted to honor God and we submitted to His Lordship. God has indeed preserved me. And for the last 23 years that I have been living in this world I praise Him for preserving and loving me just as I am. That all these years that I lived my life as a single since birth I never got my heart broken because God took hold of it. And when that time comes that II will meet the person that God has designed for me I am whole. That I wouldn’t have any setbacks or baggage that I will carry on to the relationship. Yes, there are times I feel discouraged but those times are the moments when I do not focus my eyes on my first love and that is Jesus Christ. Right now, I am blessed when people would ask me why I’m blooming. And can say that it is not because of a man but it is because of Jesus. I wouldn’t be able to testify and share this without God’s work in my life. And being in center of God’s will is indeed the gift and joy of being single, the time where you have the energy to explore and serve as an individual. I also have my mistakes but God in His faithfulness can turn our mess into a message. As a single young woman, why will I look for a man to love me if Jesus already gave His life for me 2,000 years ago. A love that never fails and a love that can truly satisfy. Indeed, being single since birth is a blessing.
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